


Jokes and the Fields Boys

by liberallesbian37



Series: Project Team Beta's 2013 Writing Challenge [26]
Category: Pretty Little Liars
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-07
Updated: 2013-07-07
Packaged: 2017-12-18 00:42:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/873753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liberallesbian37/pseuds/liberallesbian37
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Paige and Emily's sons get into trouble when left alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jokes and the Fields Boys

**Author's Note:**

> Challenge Number/Title: 26/Avoidance  
> Date Posted: 7/7/13  
> Fandom: Pretty Little Liars  
> Rating: G  
> Genre: Future  
> Content Descriptors: Comedy, slight language  
> Character Pairing: mentioned Paige/Emily

                “Mikey! Chris! D’wanna hear a joke?” ten-year-old Davey Fields asked, a wide grin on his freckled face.

                Mikey and Chris nodded,  jumped off the trampoline, and ran over to their older brother.

                “Okay! But it’s a secret joke, which means you can’t tell anyone. Not mom, not dad, not even the dog. Got it?” he asked. His face held nothing but seriousness.

                “Okay! Okay!” the other two boys exclaimed, bouncing around.

                “Sit down!” Davey demanded. Their butts hit the bench in an instant and they crowded around the older boy.

                “All right. Why did the monster eat the little boys?”

                Mikey and Chris looked at each other and shrugged.

                “Why, Davey? Why?”

                Davey put his hand against his face as if he were shielding his words from the outside world.

                “Because they were bad!” he shouted, and laughed. Mikey frowned for a second, but joined his brother in laughter.

                “That wasn’t funny! It didn’t make sense!” Chris yelled, his face turning red.

                “Of course it made sense! Or maybe you’re too young and stupid to understand it!” Davey yelled back.

                Tears pricked at Chris’s eyes.

                “I’m not stupid,” he said quietly. Mikey patted his twin’s hand.

                “You’re not stupid! Davey’s a meany pants!”

                “Am not! And you’re stupider than Chris!”

                “Am not!”

                “Are too!”

                “Am not!”

                “Boys!” Paige McCullers yelled, running out of the house. Her hair was pulled up in a sloppy ponytail and she was wearing an apron.

                “What are you wearing, Mommy?” Chris asked.

                “It’s called an apron, sweetie. It helps keep Mommy’s clothes clean while she cooks,” Paige explained. Chris shook his head.

                “No, Mommy. I know what it is. It helps keep _Mama’s_ clothes clean while _she_ cooks. _You_ don’t cook.”

                “Today I do. You know it’s Mama’s birthday, which is why we’re doing something special for her, remember? That’s why you three agreed you wouldn’t  fight today?” Paige asked, trying to jog their memories.

                “Oh yeah!” Davey exclaimed. “That’s why you let me supervise! Right, isn’t that the word you used?”

                Paige nodded and Davey continued.

                “You let me supervise because Mama is spending the day with her friends. I was doing a good job, Mommy! It’s not my fault Mikey and Chris don’t understand my jokes. They’re stupid,” he said under his breath.

                “David Wayne Fields! Do not call your brothers stupid! Maybe they don’t understand your joke because your joke isn’t funny.”

                Davey opened his mouth to respond, but then shut it. It hadn’t occurred to him that perhaps his brothers didn’t laugh because he wasn’t funny.

                Paige sighed.

                “Since I obviously can’t leave you alone out here, why don’t you boys come inside and help me?” she suggested.

                Davey bit his lip and gave his mother his best puppy dog eyes.

                “Mommy? Do you think maybe, if we promise to be good, can we go over to Uncle Caleb’s house? He promised to show us something cooler than cool!”

                Paige rolled her eyes.

                “Cooler than cool? Are those the words he used?”

                Davey shrugged. “I dunno. But can we go over there? Please? It’s  across the street and I’ll hold Mikey and Chris’s hands while we cross!”

                “Honey, Uncle Caleb is working today,” Paige told him gently.

                “What about Uncle Toby’s?” Mikey suggested. “Emma’s a pain in the ass, but Uncle Toby is going to build me bunk beds!”

                Paige’s jaw dropped.

                “They’re not YOUR bunk beds!” Chris argued. “They’re for US!”

                “Whatever! Same difference!” Mikey shot back.

                “Both of you shut up! Something’s wrong with Mommy!” Davey yelled, pointing to Paige. Indeed, her entire face and neck had turned bright red.

                “Michael Nick Fields. WHAT did you call your cousin?”

                “A pain in the ass,” Mikey repeated.

                “We don’t use that word! Especially not to describe our family! Do you understand?” she yelled.

                “Mama said it first! When Auntie Spencer came over yesterday she was complaining about Emma and Mama said ‘sounds like she’s going to be a pain in the ass, just like her mom’! And Auntie Spencer laughed! Why don’t they get yelled at?”

                Paige took a deep breath in, counted to three, and let it out.

                “Mikey, do we repeat everything Mama says?” she asked patiently. He shook his head.

                “And why not?”

                “Because Mama is a big girl and she can say what she wants. But it’s not fair! Why can Mama call Emma a pain in the ass and we can’t?” he whined.

                “MICHAEL NICK FIELDS! DO NOT CALL YOUR COUSIN A PAIN IN THE ASS AGAIN!” Paige yelled.

                Mikey stuck his tongue out defiantly. “And what if I do? What are you going to do about it?”

                _Was I this big of a brat when I was his age?_ Paige wondered.

                “Emma’s a pain in the ass, Emma’s a pain in the ass, Emma’s a pain in the ass,” Mikey sung gleefully, skipping around.

                “Michael Fields, I don’t want to spank you on your mother’s birthday, but if you say that word one more time, I will drag you inside and make sure you don’t say it again. Do you understand me?” she asked.

                “EMMA’S A PAIN IN THE ASS!”

                Paige was in the process of grabbing her son’s arm when she heard a cry behind her. She turned around and saw a shocked Toby holding his five year old daughter.

                “She wanted to bring over Emily’s birthday present before she went to her ballet class,” Toby explained.

                Paige sighed and ran her fingers through her hair.

                “I’m so sorry. Michael! Apologize to your cousin.”

                “Sorry,” he said without looking at her.

                Paige decided to ignore his insincerity. “Go to your bedroom right now and do not move a muscle until I tell you to. Got it?”

                He nodded and stalked into the house, shooting Emma a glare on his way.

                “You brought Auntie Emily a present? Can you tell me what it is?” Paige asked Emma. The girl shook her head, tears still leaking out of her eyes.

                “Hmm… You can’t? Not even if…the tickle monster comes?” She reached out and tickled Emma’s sides. Emma giggled wildly.

                “Stop! That tickles!” Toby put her on the ground and she threw her arms around her aunt.

                “It’s a secret! Make sure Auntie Emily opens it, okay?” she asked. Paige nodded.

                “I will make sure she opens it. I promise.”

                “Em, we better get going if we don’t want to be late,” Toby reminded her.

                “Bye Auntie Paige!” Emma said, hugging Paige again.

                “Bye Emma,” Paige called, watching the two leave. Once they were gone, she turned to two of her sons.

                “Can you two behave yourselves out here or do I have to send you to your rooms as well?” she asked.

                “We can be good!” Davey exclaimed. Paige nodded.

                “Good,” she said and went inside.

                “Chris, do you wanna hear a funny joke?”


End file.
